funny facebook status

 funny Facebook Status

Here are funny Facebook Status messages that will get a lot of likes and comments. You spend a lot of time on Facebook and you update your Facebook status frequently but you don’t get a lot of likes and comments on your Facebook status. Don’t be a worry, be funny here is the list of funny Facebook status that will get likes and comments.

Humour is the best way to impress your friends and other people so upload funny status on Facebook to impress your Facebook friends. Hurry up do not wait because it the best time to surprise your friends with these funny and cute Facebook statuses.

Table of Contents


  1. Save paper, don’t do homework.
  2. Life is Short – Talk Fast!
  3. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
  4. Save water and shower together 😉
  5. **when life gives you lemons… Squirt it in your enemies eyes!!***
  6. Adults are just kids with money.
  7. Tomato is a fruit so do not put it in a fruit salad.
  8. Who needs TV drama we have got Facebook.
  9. Single is not lonely, and the relationship is not to be happy.
  10. Liking your own status is like appreciating yourself.
  11. I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
  12. Why do they put the pizza in a square box?
  13. Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!
  14. Your intelligence is my common sense.
  15. I am quitting Facebook to face my book.
  16. Facebook is like a prison because you write on it walls.
  17. Roses are red, and Facebook is blue. I have no mutual friends then who you are?
  18. There is no logic in why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
  19. Why is it called a “building” when it’s already been built?
  20. I am a smart person but just do stupid things.
  21. Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
  22. Everything has a price. Let’s make a deal.
  23. Facebook funny status: I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.
  24. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me.
  25. A long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
  26. Can I click your picture? I love pictures of natural disasters.
  27. You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
  28. I am not 50 years old; I am just 20 years with 30 years of experience.
  29. If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
  30. Facebook is a fridge. Yes, because when you are alone, you open it to see if there’s anything.
  31. Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
  32. The trouble with being punctual is that no one cares.
  33. If you get difficult questions in life, Google gives you answers.
  34. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
  35. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
  36. Don’t kiss by the garden gate, love is blind, but the neighbours ain’t.
  37. When God made me, he was showing off!!
  38. The hardest part about the business is minding your own.
  39. Vegetarians are killing the rainforest.
  40. People have told me to never say never – they broke their own rule!
  41. I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  42. Facebook account for sale, friends included!
  43. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
  44. If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
  45. Mark Zuckerberg ruined our lives. That might not be the funny Facebook status for him.
  46. Sam likes animals. The sweet and sour chicken.
  47. Facebook is the red carpet for girls who have no talent at all.
  48. Don’t like me. I am not a Facebook status.
  49. Facebook, suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally.
  50. Say it on my face not via Facebook status.
  51. Facebook has two types of people. The one who gets more likes, other are men.
  52. Behind every successful status, there is ctrl+C and ctrl+V
  53. I keep my Facebook page public to make you jealous.
  54. Dance like no one will upload it to Facebook.
  55. I failed my quiz but successful in Face-booking.
  56. If something is not right, try left.
  57. Everyone is fine until you see her on Twitter.
  58. Eyebrows speak louder than phrases.
  59. Without candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.
  60. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid.
  61. Teachers name it cheating. Friends call it teamwork.
  62. Hi there! Using my brain now.
  63. Busy now but free forever.
  64. Google is for my mind, anti-virus to install in my heart.
  65. People with high status don’t need a status.
  66. If you fail to convince, try to confuse them.
  67. Round is a shape. I am in shape then.
  68. Eat, exercise, but you will die anyhow.
  69. If magnet attracts, should I swallow it?
  70. The exercise I do is ‘running out of money.’
  71. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
  72. Heaven doesn’t want me…and hell is too scared I’ll take over.
  73. When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?
  74. Push can get you almost anywhere, except through a door marked ‘pull’.
  75. We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up. After I finish laughing!
  76. True laziness is being excited when plans get cancelled.
  77. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?
  78. I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
  79. I like to work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
  80. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
  81. I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
  82. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
  83. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  84. The truth hurts….. That’s why I lie ;p
  85. Insert a coin to view my status message.
  86. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
  87. Funny facebook status: The kid’s next door imaginary friend
  88. I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.
  89. At first, I didn’t like my beard, then it grew on me.
  90. Broken pencils are pointless.
  91. “What’s up cake?” “Muffin much”.
  92. I don’t have goals. Goals are for soccer. I’m not soccer.
  93. All men are born free; if they marry is their own fault.
  94. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
  95. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  96. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.
  97. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
  98. Funny facebook status for you: I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better 😀
  99. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
  100. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
  101. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
  102. Dogs have masters, cats have staff.
  103. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.

By Sameer

I'm Sameer Bille, a blogger from Mumbai, India. I started MuchTech as a passion.Here at Much Tech I write about Tech Tips,Tricks and how to guide.

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